Today, like nearly every day, I was sitting in the rocking chair, nursing my baby boy, hoping he’d let go soon; I am pretty sure he had already been asleep for 10 minutes! I tried easing him away, he starts suckling again. He’s not ready to let go. But then I think, instead of being anxious to get up and do my own thing, I should appreciate this moment more. What can I do to appreciate this moment?

I looked out the window, a little bit of light was seeping through the closed blinds and I could see a very obstructed view of outside. It looked windy. I should mention that I didn’t have my glasses on either, which caused the view to be even further obscured. I saw a series of leaves floating past. They looked like white dots. Snow? No way! It seems that even in San Diego, we have a change of seasons. Even though it hasn’t gotten below 60 degrees here at night yet, Autumn is certainly making its presence known. The days are shorter, the warm/cold air is a bit more crisp. I could hear the rustle of the trees through my still slightly opened windows.

I started thinking, “I should be thankful.” It’s almost Thanksgiving. Everyone I know is posting on Facebook what they are thankful for each day in November. I am thankful for a lot of things, but I still have to remind myself that every day is a gift.

I am thankful that I didn’t give up on myself when things got so hard. I always wondered why I was here and why my presence was just wasting oxygen on this cruel Earth. I didn’t really understand until now. (Sometimes I still have to remind myself that being here is a good thing!)

I am thankful for a gift (in disguise) that I received almost 9 years ago. I struggled to find meaning in such a tough situation. And then I finally got to lay my eyes on her; this beautiful creature that was given to me for some reason. Seeing the world through her eyes makes life fun again.

I am thankful that my parents never gave up on me.

I am thankful for my friends that are always there for me.

I am thankful that I moved to San Diego to be with my friends, so I could meet my husband.

I am thankful for my husband.

I am thankful for my new baby boy, and the family of blessings I have here.

My life seems to be like the changing seasons, but I feel stronger now. I no longer feel like those leaves blowing around in the wind. I am more grounded and stable. And now I can follow my own passions, with love and thanksgiving as my roots.

And that is what Thanksgiving is about, my friends.

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